Episode 406 - Happily Ever After

When you survive the worst of high school, oftentimes you gain needed allies in the fight ahead. That ally for The Bull & The Badger was none other than Danielle Colayco, and the worst of high school was apparently AP Bio. Just like in this podcast, we got through it with laughter, tears, and lots of conversation. Danielle shares about surviving post-partum depression, an already tough experience that coincided with the passing of her father. She doesn’t hold back the details on some of the toughest moments of her life.

Danielle was then and is now a hero to The Bull & The Badger for her vulnerability, openness and courage. (And just as importantly her amazing memory for AP Bio facts and humor.) Please enjoy this episode with one of our favorite humans.

EPISODE NOTES:
-Recorded in 2016
-Suicide hotline number: 1-800-273-8255 (also online chat available)

SOUND ENGINEER
Vanessa Yee

POST SOUND EDITOR AND MIXER
Karolina Esqueda

COMPOSER
Deborah Lee Proaño

Special Thanks:
Mr. Wilkes

**Post episode message from DC**
[This is] to anyone listening who may be experiencing some of what we've talked about. I myself was in denial of my symptoms, which started in the hospital 1-2 days after giving birth. I was crying uncontrollably, and the nurse asked me "is it the pain?" (I had a C-section) and I was too ashamed to say that I was feeling sad (who feels sad after having a baby?) so I lied and said yes. So they increased the dose of my pain medication. It's much easier to complain of physical pain than emotional pain, because there's no stigma associated with physical symptoms.

They also administered a depression screening questionnaire in the hospital and I lied on that too, because I was afraid they'd call someone in for a psych consult-- which is exactly what I needed, but I was terrified at the time. I didn't want to be associated with the women in the news who drown their babies in the bathtub or drive themselves and their kids over a cliff [note: most of these cases are actually driven by psychosis, which also occurs but is much more rare than depression/anxiety]. People hear those stories and immediately demonize the mothers, not realizing that as humans, we all have the capacity to go to dark places. But it doesn't have to get to that point if you get treated.

So be honest with yourself. Not everyone feels happy after giving birth. It's not always like in the movies when the mother immediately starts weeping with joy upon seeing her baby.

And cut yourself some slack. You've just endured 10 months of pregnancy, followed by the trauma of childbirth. And then you need to stay awake 24/7 to feed and care for a helpless newborn. It's enough to send most people to their edge, and a great many of us will go beyond that edge. You're not alone, and you don't have to hide it. Don't try to tough it out yourself. Get help, because the good news is that it's treatable.